after GA ...it's you Ingmar Bergman

My life has been a futile pursuit, a wandering,a great deal of talk without meaning.I feel no bitterness or self-reproach because the lives of most people are very much like this. But I will use my reprieve for one meaningful deed.

My little stomach is my world, my head is my eternity, and my hands, two wonderful suns.My legs are time's damned pendulums, and my dirty feet are two splendid starting points for my philosophy. Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the only difference being that a belch is more satisfying.

Everything I've said seems meaningless and unreal while I sit here with you and your husband. How unimportant it all becomes suddenly.I shall remember this moment. The silence, the twilight, the bowls of strawberries and milk, your faces in the evening light. Mikael sleeping, Jof with his lyre. I'll try to remember what we have talked about. I'll carry this memory between my hands as carefully as if it were a bowl filled to the brim with fresh milk.


JONS
In the darkness where You are supposed to be, where all of us probably are.... In the darkness You will find no one to listen to Your cries or be touched by Your sufferings. Wash Your tears and mirror Yourself in Your indifference.
KNIGHT
God, You who are somewhere, who must be somewhere, have mercy upon us.
JONS
I could have given you an herb to purge you of your worries about eternity. Now it seems to be too late. But in any case, feel the immense triumph of this last minute when you can still roll your eyes and move your toes.
KARIN
Quiet, quiet.
JONS
I shall be silent, but under protest.